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Name: Joseph
Location: Kansas City, Missouri, United States
Birthday: 7/4/1988
Gender: Male


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Member Since: 3/3/2004

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

Brave men jokes:

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world?

The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of

perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next,

fatty."

********************************

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is

lying in bed reading.

Man says: "This is the pig I have s * x with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

********************************

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He asks, "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney.

I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for

free."

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and

sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want

to see how you live on $800 a year".

*********************************

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2

litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a

head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g

pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a

drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of

the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly

stated,"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued

by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at

her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her

selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what,

you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."


Wednesday, December 06, 2006


Sunday, October 15, 2006

 

asians own you, kay?

http://video.google.nl/videoplay?docid=3163263343187879320


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

 

When insults had class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard


"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

 

 


Sunday, September 24, 2006

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e10/b1ackrainbow/sep18gal12.jpg

 

this one is a link for special reasons. just look at it.



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